You have so much determination & passion, & no idea what to do with it. I know you feel like you’ll never find your way, but you will. Everything will change in a second & it will be so beautiful. You’ll figure out your dreams along the way. You’ll find a reason to wake up & smile every day. You’ll find something you love. You’ll recognize your worth. You are worth existing.
I gotta spoil it for you, you will go to college, & you will graduate! (Okay hopefully, I’m still a little way away. We’re being positive here though!) It’s going to be the hardest thing you ever do, but just know it will be worth it. Keep focused & you will succeed. You’ll hit some major bumps along the line but just keep going. It’s going to feel like the world is one its toes watching you, so don’t disappoint.
Everyone may have thought it was weird that you picked to be homeschooled for most of high school, but I don’t regret a thing. You explored so much of your creativity. You grew in the way you needed most. Be happy you played guitar as much as you have, you won’t have the time in college. & don’t worry, you won’t feel so weird around people. I know being an introvert was always hard for you but you’ll learn & understand it better soon. You aren’t weird for not having many friends. It’s what you need & that’s what matters most.
As an artist, your identity is always going to be important to you. Don’t be afraid to experiment (you will, it won’t be that bad) it will help you find what you like.
Most importantly, you’ll learn to love yourself along the way. Being a perfectionist always made this so difficult. Not every day is easy, especially when you aren’t doing as much as you know you’re capable of, but you will have more good days than bad days. You’ll learn not care about what people think of you. You won’t feel the stares on the street. Just know everything will turn out better than you could’ve ever imagined.
Shine on. I’ll see you soon.